NEURODIVERSITY INSIGHTS

2 IDEAS FROM ME

• Neurodiverse minds see and process the world differently. Behavior is not a “lack of love or caring.” Neurodiverse humans care deeply but are unable to consistently perform in ways that show it. Emotional dysregulation is often the biggest challenge. Cultivating mindfulness and the sacred pause before responding are keys to flourishing relationships. Build systems that make performance easy, not expectations that put suffering on repeat.

• Neurodiversity explains behavior. It does not excuse behavior. Compassion and accountability must grow together in the relationship. Neurotypical members of the relationship need to cultivate empathy for neurodiverse challenges. Neurodiverse members need to take ownership for the impact their behaviors have on others. Repair matters more than perfection. Timing of repair is best the following day after meeting “HALT” (Hunger, Anger, Loneliness, Tired) needs.

2 QUOTES FROM SAGES

• "ADHD is not a disorder of knowing what to do. It is a disorder of doing what you know."—Russell Barkley

• “It’s not me versus you. It’s us versus the problem.”—John Gottman

1 QUESTION FOR YOU TO EXPLORE

• About 20% of adults are neurodivergent. More than half of those are not diagnosed until later in life. How would you know if you are neurodivergent or in a neurodivergent relationship? There are many free online screening tools available for ADHD, Autism, etc, These are available by common search engines or AI tools. If the screening tools indicate you are high potential for ND, it’s important to get professional assessment from a Neurodivergent certified psychiatrist or psychologist.

Namaste,

Duane Nelson